I never use this thing. But a good friend of mine says it’s good for the soul to let it all out.
So here I go:
The thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy. I have come that you may have life and live it abundantly.
I live a blessed life and my cup runneth over. Shame on me for complaining. But even if I didn’t have such a good life I would still be grateful.
I have come a long way. I have a dark past and I refuse to live in it. But I’m at the point in my life where I’m questioning everything I do. My pastor likes to say that we are either going forward or backwards. And that everything is either edifying or diminishing. I’d like to think he’s right. So am I doing the right things? Am I heading toward a path of success or imminent failure? Whatever happens I know that He is with me. Immanuel.
The Apostle Paul taught us to be content, not through our situation or circumstances but through Christ Jesus. And that although times may be rough, you may suffer, you may even die, the end result is life if you so choose it. I wish I was a 1/4 of the man Paul was. But I am not. What I do know is that I am blessed. I have a great life, good friends and I could not be any happier. When one door closes, another one opens. God is good. All the time.
So I may not have everything. But I have enough. More than enough. I have learned to be content with what I have and what I am. But there is much work to be done. Even Paul wasn’t satisfied and neither am I.
My heart is wicked and I know not what I do. I often pray for strength, for faith and for conviction. But what I really should be praying for is Patience.
I am incredibly weak minded sometimes. And I have many many bad habits. It seems that when I let go of one habit, another takes root. I need to do a better job of being focused and disciplined. This YOLO mentality is ridiculous and irresponsible.
I also confess that I know nothing about dating, maintaining friendships and communicating. I have not dated in years and for good reason. I am a picky SOB and I hate selfishness. In my youth, I was led to believe that relationships are self serving and pointless. But now that I am more mature I know better. God put Adam and Eve together so that they would keep each other accountable, so that they could serve one another and teach other. Jesus sent his disciples out in pairs. It can be defeating sometimes to be alone. To live in a shell and to hide yourself. A relationship can teach you patience and trust.
with that said, I am such an awkward human being. I have no idea what I’m doing. I often pray for confidence and a sound mind. But I rarely have either of them. I often laugh at myself for what comes out of my mouth. Whatever happens…I am not alone